jetzt

withered hopes, dizzy screams herald my waking hour
to a place where shallow breaths make everything feel renewed
in states of non-being, cries and fickle pictures of
reunions and dire sins, I see the future subdued

in between lives and past threshholds of death
they choose to linger in neither, then finally in both
taking all that is sacred, leaving no refuge
to a madman’s ramblings and measure of self-worth

there is no place in one or the other
as feeble fate attempts are just enough to be cruel
leaving you with fr’instances and sad if onlys
drawn on canvas ripped apart by fools

the pain, unbearable in its claim that is
lost in sighs of the night, in the flickers of the days
compliments the atrophy of all self and reason
of mobility, of choice, of parting of ways

yet the thrills of fortune and joys of life
as elusive as a sign of reprieve
forever taunts and teases the mind
of alternatives no one seems to know how to define

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